Chortle Award For Best Headliner Nomination!
I’ve been nominated for an award! I won’t win, because two of the other three nominees have been all over the tv and radio and they’re almost famous! Lovely to be nominated anyway though.
It would be charitable of you to vote for me out of the kindness of your hearts, if you were so inclined and you can do so here:
http://www.chortle.co.uk/about/2010/01/31/10433/vote_in_the_2010_chortle_awards
and if any of you have too much time on your hands please feel free to launch some manner of enormous internet campaign compelling the whole world to vote for me, as I definitely deserve it, because the reason I’m not on tv and radio all the time like the others is because I spend three days every week looking after the elderly and infirm and another half day rescuing injured puppies. Whereas to the best of my knowledge, none of the other nominees has ever rescued a single puppy. In fact, I can tell you that at least one of the nominees once bit a puppy’s head off and spat it out into a toilet, then fished it back out of the toilet with their bare hands and threw it in a small child’s face causing him to topple into a canal and drown, and that small child’s parents subsequently commited suicide, and the comedian in question turned up at their funerals, and laughed throughout proceedings, and later that day defiled their graves,singing ‘how much is that doggy in the window’, and that very same night appeared on some panel show cracking misogynistic jokes about fallen celebrities as if nothing had happened.
It’s up to you though.
Ta-ta
Xxx