Here are the first few dates for my NEW TOUR now on sale:

Sunday 9th October – Lincoln – Drill Hall – on sale now

http://lincolncomedyfestival.co.uk/sunday-9th/

01522 873894

Thursday 13th October – Wolverhampton – Civic Hall – on sale now

http://www.wolvescivic.co.uk/index.asp?loc=home

0870 320 7000

Saturday 15th October – Brighton – Pavilion – on sale now

http://www.brightondome.org/

01273 709709

And there are of course a bloody load more TOUR DATES still to come, don’t you worry.

But if you’re in Lincoln, Wolverhampton or Brighton, go ahead and buy your tickets now if you like. How exciting. x

I’m recording my BBC Radio 4 series ‘What To Do If You’re Not Like Everybody Else’ on the evenings of Wednesday 13th July and Wednesday 20th July at Up The Creek in Greenwich. It would be marvellous if you could come. Tickets available here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/showsandtours/shows/shows/what_to_do_2011

Hope you can make it! x

That is all x

Hellohello,

I’m doing a new tour of all new shit-hot material you won’t have heard. I’m starting off at the Edinburgh Festival all through August, please do find tickets here:

http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/comedy/andrew-lawrence-the-best-kept-secret-in-comedy-tour

I will then be touring the UK throughout Autumn/Winter 2011 and then on into 2012. Tour dates will start to appear on this website very soon. But to be kept thoroughly informed, please do join my mailing list.

Very much hope to see you soon!

All the best,
Andrew x

Sweet Jesus, life is good to me!

This Sunday I will be performing in this most wonderful arcadia of floral delight for all and sundry who should wish to travel there. I’m so hungry for this gig, I’m literally dribbling down myself as I write this. Everything, my whole life, has been building towards this glory day:

The Beggar’s Theatre
Market Square
Millom
Cumbria
LA18 4HZ

http://beggarstheatre.co.uk/

Please do come, unless you live over 100 miles away, in which case it’s not worth the bother as I will be gigging in your area soon because I am perpetually on the road in a risible attempt to distract myself from the gradual creeping onset of death.

I jiz on your faces and kick you out of my bed,

Andrew x

Hello I love you,

And so consequently, I’ve chucked some details of forthcoming gigs on my Gigs page as it seemed the most suitable place for details of such things.

If you are interested in seeing one of my forthcoming gigs, my Gigs page is definitely the place for you! You can access my Gigs page simply by clicking on the ‘Gigs’ tab at the top of this page. This is because of the wonders of modern technology which seem, on the surface at least, to have made our lives better.

At all the gigs I have listed, I will be TRYING OUT NEW MATERIAL for the ‘Edinburgh Fringe Festival’. This is a festival where some thieving shits steal thousands of pounds of my money so that i can sweat in a room without air-conditioning every night for about forty five minutes while pompous oxbridge TV pricks presume to have the creative faculties to be able to judge me on my abilities. It is a place where freelance reviewers who can’t get work the rest of the year go to spout cack about things they don’t understand and take bungs from Avalon. This will be my sixth year in a row attending this festival because I am a fucking idiot. The Edinburgh Fringe Festival has now cost me personally in excess of £26,000, because I am a fucking idiot.

TRYING OUT NEW MATERIAL will involve me trawling through ramshackle half-baked ideas that are no good to man or beast. However amongst all the waffle there will be a significant amount of hilarious things, such that if you do come along you will feel you have certainly had bloody good value for money, even in spite of the bits that were crap.

Some of the venues I’m performing these work-in-progress gigs at will be really, really shitty and unpleasant, but I will be there to soften the blow for you.

I know I haven’t made these forthcoming gigs sound very appealing and the tone of this message may suggest that I have sunk back into the state of mental unhingedness that has impeded my professional progress intermittently throughout my comedy career every time it seemed like I was just about to break through into the big time, but seriously these shows are going to be a sort of very messy shit-hottedness. They are going to be an EVENT, if you were an arsehole you might call them a HAPPENING. But Jesus Christ the one thing you don’t want to ever do is miss them. You’ll be sorry you were ever born if you miss these half arsed semi-prepared shows where I may well be reading off bits of paper.

You damn well better make sure I see you there!

(Otherwise you can come and see me on tour in the Autumn when it will be a much better show and more slick, but expensive and I’ll be a little bit dead behind the eyes in a way that suggests I’m bored of my own material. Or alternatively don’t come to see me at all. The truth is whenever I’m doing a tour date, on the same night there are probably at least 10 better comedians performing in better venues in more pleasant parts of the country with jokes that they’ve put far more effort into. I tell you this because I care about you, because you have now read the whole of this crappy-arse, try-hard, not funny news message and that can only mean things are not going so well in your life. I hope things improve for you, because I love you. Goodbye I love you.)

Flipping hell! My tour tickets are shifting quicker than Seinfeld at the O2! Here’s a couple of new’ns for you:

27 February

Harpenden – Public Halls

www.harpendenpublichalls.co.uk

Box office: 01582 767525

5 April

Liverpool – Unity Theatre

www.unitytheatreliverpool.co.uk

0844 873 2888

Seriously though, you’d want to get a bloody move on!

x

Woohoo! I done it again. 2 years in a row. Please vote for me and get all your friends to vote for me and go up to people in the street and get them to vote for me:

http://www.chortle.co.uk/news/2011/01/07/12522/tims_on_top

Thank you comedy industry! Most of the time you are really shitty, but today you have been good to me.

Ah, all is right with the world.

x

I’ve done two tour dates already at The Bristol Hen & Chicken Comedy Box, but they’ve both been bloody lovely, so I’m doing another one, and nothing and nobody can stand in my way.

Thursday 17th March

Bristol – Hen and Chicken
210 North St
Southville
Bristol

BS3 1JF

www.thecomedybox.co.uk

box office: 0117 902 0344

How do you like them apples, eh?

The Salford Lowry Tour date on Sunday 27th March sold out quite quickly so I’m delighted to be doing an extra show there on Monday 28th March. Tickets available now!

Salford – The Lowry

http://www.thelowry.com/

Box office: 0843 208 6000

Pier 8
Salford Quays
Greater Manchester
M50 3AZ

TICKETS: £12